I will be getting married soon and I can’t wait! And it’s not because of the wedding day because I don’t think one day will define much.
Plus TBH, for me, all the work that has to be done for that 1 day feels more exhausting than a lifetime of marriage! (I am praying about it so it can go beautifully and blessed, but I can’t wait to have that in the books already!)
But the problem I am seeing (which motivated me to write this blog post) is that SO many famous people are constantly getting married, divorced, and remarried! (Not counting the ones close to us)
And I feel they (famous people) are having more divorces than marriages, but let me know in the comments if you think otherwise!
A lot of (young) people look up to them. It makes me wonder if the number of divorces possibly from their favorite movie stars or singers, makes them rethink marriage.
Or does it motivate them follow that same pattern?
Are they contemplating to never get married to protect themselves or avoid that heartbreak/loss/turmoil?
Or will they prefer to live with their partner instead of pursuing marriage?
Let’s talk a little more about marriage: the right and wrong reasons to get married, what the Bible says about marriage and divorce.
And then we will finalize with…is marriage worth it?
Tell me what you think, I’d love to hear from you.
Well, what is marriage to you?
Sometimes we hear someone say, “Take your time in getting married. Have fun, enjoy your life first. Once you get married, he changes. And you don’t have time for yourself anymore, and once babies come into the picture, you’re always going to be tied down.”
Or this to the guys: “Get ready, man. You may never enjoy another guy’s night out again. She’s gonna chain you down!”
Really 😐…after hearing that, who wants to get married? 🤷♀️
The TRUTH is that it depends on YOU AND YOUR SPOUSE on how your life will be once you get married.
It doesn’t mean you will always be tied down or no more guys night. You get to accommodate your life to have a balance of all things fun, good, and responsible.
I have a lot of well-intentioned people in my life, but I know I can’t listen to all of their advice.
If I did heed their advice, I think I wouldn’t be getting married.
A BAD advice I got was that you should never give too much because he will get used to it and you will suffer later.
But this far from the truth. So far, we both have been very committed to one another and give our all to one another, and we don’t regret it. In fact, it has brought us closer! We feel a tighter bond and more in love!
We should love with the same unconditional love Christ showed/shows us and which the Bible speaks of (Jeremiah 31:3, Romans 8:38, 39).
ps: we’ve been together 5 years now and I think we are way past the infatuation stage.
What are the right reasons to get married? Benefits of marriage:
Disclaimer: The following list of reasons why to get married should be looked at as a homogenous list, and not meant for just one reason by itself to persuade anyone to get married.
Get married because…
- You’re IN LOVE with each other (the most obvious one should go first😉 ).
- You have the SAME spiritual beliefs (compromises on this can cause future struggles).
- You accept one another wholeheartedly with the good, the bad, and the ugly.
- You see eye to eye on a lot of future decisions you will need to make (kids, home life, money, etc.)
- You’re committed to doing forever with them. (Don’t do it if there is any confusion/doubt in you)
- Your flaws are strengths in the other person.
- The other person loves you in the ways you need to be loved.
- You balance each other (keep each other grounded and moving forward).
- You want to celebrate every part of your life & make a beautiful life with that person.
- Your parents/loved ones are supportive of the union.
- God has given you the clearest “go ahead,” not once but multiple times.
These are the reasons why I/we decided to get married.
They are in no particular order. The last one doesn’t mean it’s least important. In actuality, the last one was the most definitive for me!
I made sure many times with God and read books (lol, yes, I am very nerdy). I also asked my loved ones. There were a few significant things I asked God in a person and He definitely answered.
Maybe I will write about it next…
What are the reasons NOT to get married?
This is off the top of my head and in no way a form of judgment against anyone:
Don’t get married if…
- You have any confusion/doubt about that person being the right one for the rest of your life. (I feel this one is common sense, but a lot fall into it)
- You’re embarrassed by them (you don’t want others to see you with that person).
- You don’t find them attractive.
- You are doing it to gain citizenship into a country (remember how sacred God views marriage).
- They don’t understand you & any mental health issues that are present.
- You find them disrespectful (chances are they will show you disrespect later).
- They don’t give you the time you deserve now.
- They abuse you or others (please, seek help if this applies to you).
- You don’t agree with what they do for a living (it can negatively affect you).
- You don’t have the same spiritual beliefs.
- (One or many of) your loved ones have expressed concerns about the relationship.
- They are unwilling to reach a compromise.
- They speak to you in ways you don’t like (maybe it’s aggressive, domineering, etc.).
- You think they are lazy and don’t have the desire to move forward in life.
I feel this list can go on and on. Ahh!!! It’s even longer than the reasons to get married.
But an important takeaway is that if we have acknowledged any red flags, we should address them before getting married. It doesn’t mean the relationship should end, but we have to work on it.
We addressed our concerns throughout our relationship.
I did seek guidance from a relationship/marriage counselor who helped a lot.
And one of the best things I did was commit my struggles to God in prayer. I made it my mission to call out to God with my entire being until I had deliverance.
I struggled with insecurities, relinquishing control, and trust.
Does satan remind me of them every now and then? Yes, but I don’t let them get a hold of me like I once did. I promptly say a prayer or recite a bible verse. It works every time.
Give it a try!
Why marriage is important in life: Benefits of marriage
We all have different reasons as to why we believe marriage is important in life.
I didn’t plan on finding a husband because I never wanted to get married.
My dream was to dedicate my life to medicine (“married to medicine”) – serving others in medical mission trips and keeping busy with God’s work.
But God brought this wonderful man into my life and everything changed. I have learned that being loved and expressing love is infinitely better than a career or any success or money. Having a partner really changed my perspective: made things happier, more fun, challenging, new.
He has taught me to love my flaws. He loves them! 🤯 and I love his too!
O has encouraged me to do things I would have never done on my own. He has taken me to places I wouldn’t have gone on my own or even with friends, and he has given me things I never would have even bought myself. And I can continue listing things, but I will stop here for your sake! 😅
(O is his first name initial)
Something else I would like to add here is that we really can’t wait to live together. And no, it’s not because of sex. (Though, that’s another new thing we have yet to encounter together.)
We can’t wait to do life together: wake up together, make breakfast for one another or together, have meals at the same time, have a synchronized schedule (which we don’t always have), do house chores together, have fun and relaxing, cozy time together, have privacy to discuss things (only private places we have right now during quarantine: in our cars, during walks at the park lol).
We want to please God by getting married before sharing a roof and having sex.
These are reasons why marriage is important to us.
What God says about marriage: Benefits of marriage
Marriage according to the Bible was defined at creation, where God made a partner, Eve, suitable for Adam directly from his own body and the Bible says, “they became one flesh” Genesis 2:23-24 NIV.
Adam and Eve were a perfect union created by God.
We know that union was blessed by God! And what God blesses is blessed forever! (1 Chronicles 17:27)
I love those bible verses in Genesis 2:23-24 about becoming one in marriage because I always think of sex between a male and a female scientifically.
We practically become one structure during sex and the joining of sperm and egg occurring in our fallopian tubes leads to one entirely new creation (or sometimes multiple)!
But beyond the oneness in sex, oneness in marriage also comes in our behavior, emotions, responsibilities, thinking, etc.
God’s Word doesn’t lie: it’s clear we definitely become one flesh in marriage.
Bible verses about marriage
The Bible has a lot to say about marriage. Here are some bible verses about marriage – just hover over to read them.
Deuteronomy 24:5, Psalm 85:10, Proverbs 18:22, Proverbs 19:14, Proverbs 21:9, Proverbs 31:10, Ecclesiastes 4:9-12, Hosea 2:19, Malachi 2:13-16
1 Corinthians 7:1-40, 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, 2 Corinthians 6:14, Ephesians 5:22-33, Colossians 3:18-19, 1 Timothy 3:2, Hebrews 13:4, 1 Peter 3:7, 1 Peter 4:8, 1 John 4:7
Matthew 19:2-9, Matthew 5:43 and Matthew 19:19 (and guess who is your closest neighbor? your future spouse), Mark 10:6-12
What does the Bible say about divorce?
““It has been said, ‘Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.’ But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, makes her the victim of adultery, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.” Matthew 5:31-32 NIV.
““The man who hates and divorces his wife,” says the Lord, the God of Israel, “does violence to the one he should protect,” says the Lord Almighty. So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful.” Malachi 2:16 NIV.
“I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”” Matthew 19:9 NIV.
Also, read Psalm 101:3, Proverbs 5:15, Proverbs 6:32, 1 Corinthians 7:10-15, 2 Peter 2:14 (hover over these verses to see them).
“You shall not commit adultery” in Exodus 20:14 is the 7th commandment.
No one gets married thinking of divorce (at least I hope they don’t).
And we don’t know the future. But we do know ourselves and we know we can make the right choices.
He and I always pray God will protect our relationship. We also pray to be faithful to God and to one another. I think it’s important to pray for these things. In all things, seek God (Proverbs 3:6) and put it in prayer (Philippians 4:6-7).
So is marriage worth it?
If you ask me if marriage is worth it, I will tell you, YES!
I only covered a few bases here, but I can only speak from the perspective of a soon to be married person who can’t wait to live a married life.
Yes, I know there will be issues/obstacles to overcome. We’ve overcome a lot already in 5 years thanks to God.
I know God will continue to help us!
I’ll have to write another post about how marriage life is going.
So, tell me: why do you want to get married? Or why not get married? Do you think marriage is worth it or not?
What are the benefits of marriage in your life?
Share them with me in the comments below.
Thanks so much for reading and if you know anyone who can benefit from this, please share it with them.
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Do you have an interest in getting closer to God?
To live a faith-filled life?
One of the best things you can do is spend time in His Word and in prayer.